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Relationships

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes:

• Parent/child

• Husband/wife

• Parent/provider,

• etc.

To keep a relationship healthy communicate your beliefs, morals and expectations early on.

There are several issues that can severely jeopardize a relationship: 

• Dishonesty,

• Unfaithfulness,

• Drunkenness, 

• Theft, 

• and/or Drug Use

I’m not in a position to make judgments…nor do I wish to. I’m not suggesting you tolerate and/or accept any of the above actions, but if you want to work things out, all I can offer are ideas on how to approach the situation.

Dishonesty is a tough one. I’m assuming you previously let them know your expectations/consequences. Perhaps ask them why they felt it necessary to challenge the issue and go from there. Depending on the severity, perhaps request you speak to an impartial party until the matter is resolved. www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3405_dishonesty.html

www.scarleteen.com/relationships/safety2.html has lots to say…“lies, dishonesty or secrecy tends, especially long-term, to be disastrous and debilitating. Emotionally, it can cause us to feel shame and regret; it can destroy our sexual relationship as well as our relationships with friends and family”.

Unfaithfulness: see above, plus…refrain from any intimacy (including kissing) until they allow you to escort them to a doc/clinic for a clean bill of health. This serves a few purposes…it’s a natural consequence, it gives them time to think, and it protects your health. http://herpes-coldsores.com/support/std_clinic_us_illinois.htm has lots of good info. The DuPage Co. Health Department has a STD/AIDS clinic at 111 N. County Farm Road, Wheaton, IL 60187, 630/682-7575…I think they also have services at the Jackson location in Lombard.

Drunkenness: depends on the level, frequency and actions taken while under the influence, perhaps request they attend AA meetings. There are also meetings for family/friends. www.communityresources.net/alanon.html.

Theft: another big one because of the honesty factor. Request that they personally return the item with an apology and face whatever consequences. I’m sure there are support groups out there but I couldn’t figure out what to type in www.google.com to find themL.

Drug use: Require they get immediate and continuous help. There are several groups out there offering help for both the user and the family/friends of the user. www.wsoinc.com/index.htm

I also found several sites with multiple topics:
www.12steps.org/Brochure/menubord/LINKS.htm
www.lifelink.org/latino/lss_agency_directory.shtm

Whatever the issue(s), only you can decide if you can/wish to help them through. Just make sure you always have enough support and information to keep yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy.